People: I have been on an emotional rollercoaster.
Ugh, I hate that phrase. And I hate myself a little for saying it, but it's accurate so I'm just gonna roll with it. And yes, I realize that's a picture of a ferris wheel, not a rollercoaster. But cut me some slack; I've been on an emotional ferris wheel.
I lost my job. Well, I didn't exactly lose it. It's still sitting up there in an office on the 27th floor, but in a few short weeks I won't be there with it. The counseling center where I've worked for the last three years is closing for financial reasons and at various points over the last four weeks this development has made me anxious, angry, overwhelmed, scared and sad. The hardest part is watching my clients reflect back the exact same feelings.
I'm a psychotherapist--a licensed social worker--and I consider myself very lucky to love (I mean, truly love) the work that I do. I will never get rich doing it, but for me, there is no substitute for enjoying and feeling pride in what I do. So when I learned that this job was ending--a job I was feeling comfortable to continue doing for at least another year--I sat quietly at my desk and cried. Then promptly had a minor freak-out.
Where do I send all my clients for treatment now? You know what a pain it is when you're looking through your insurance handbook looking for a new dentist or gyno that's convenient, competent and geographically desirable? Multiply that endeavor by 56 and you'll know what I've been up to the last four weeks. That's why I've barely posted this past month; my brain is such a jumbled pile of mush that all I can do at the end of the day is watch cruddy reality TV where people over-use dumb phrases like "I've been on an emotional rollercoaster".
Thankfully, my personal coaster hit the high rungs last week--I was offered at a job at a new clinic! It's in a super fun neighborhood, the commute is shorter and it's going to be an amazing experience. It all worked out so beautifully there's really no way I can possibly avoid using another completely over-used phrase.
Everything happens for a reason.