{stories and snapshots from my new york city life.}

10.19.2011

When Your Best Friend has a Baby

Missy delivered her second daughter yesterday, a tiny little peanut she and her husband named Lauren, which just so happens to be my middle name. 


I knew she was being induced in the morning, so I called her on her cell. We were on the phone during her first labor three years ago and that kid turned out to be really incredible, so I figured I better not break tradition. When she picked up the phone yesterday, she had already reached 9 centimeters. For people with limited knowledge about labor and delivery (raising hand), that's pretty close to official baby birthin' time. 

"Oh Miss...you're having a baby today!" I squealed.
I don't know if it was the drugs she was on or what, but her immediate reply wasn't "I know! Weird, right?"

It was "I want you to have one too."

Ba-boom. 

We met when we were 18--two sweet, silly college freshmen with interminable energy and few responsibilities beyond making our beds and passing the semester. We shared an apartment and blue jeans and inside jokes. I knew her before I got my first job, before my skin had lines, before I'd ever fallen in love.


Now we are in our thirties and our lives have changed.
She has a mortgage in Dallas, and I rent in Queens.
She is married, and I'd like to be.
She is a mother, and I am not.


I can tell she worries that I find her anecdotes about motherhood dull because I can't relate yet. I hope she knows that I don't find them dull at all, because she is the one telling the stories, and she is still the same funny, animated, silly girl I fell in love with back in college. 


But mostly, I know she worries that I will not have children at all, and I will miss out on something wonderful. Sometimes I have a hard time digesting the fact that I am the age that I am and need to start making some big decisions. Sometimes I wish my biggest responsibilities were still making my bed and passing the semester.

I am struggling with these changes, because we are in our thirties, and I feel like we are still the same.


She is spunky and optimistic, and so am I.
I am goofy and playful, and so is she.
We are two friends who feel like sisters.


And for now, I'm happy enough being an auntie to her two little girls. I hope they are sisters who feel like friends. 

26 comments:

  1. This is such a lovely post - those two little girls are very lucky to have an aunt like you.

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  2. ...another tear-jerker. Such a sweet, sweet post...

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  3. It's funny when you hit 30. When more friends are married than not. When it's no longer strange for your peers to have babies. My best friend has two kids and lives in the suburbs. Like you, I live in Astoria with my boyfriend, unmarried and no kids. The marriage part is negotiable (I wouldn't say no), but I'm in no hurry to have kids. Time is going faster than I'd like and I'm cursing that stupid biological clock. Being a mom isn't for everyone.

    Auntie is fine for now.

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  4. Man Vanessa. You and I should meet for drinks! Sounds like we have a lot in common!

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  5. Beautiful post, Jennifer! I have a friend like that from college. I wish she could live next door. And believe it or not, some of us married people wish we could experience NYC like you do every day!

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  6. What a sweet post! This is awesome because sadly, lots of friendships go kerplunk when one friend has a family and the other doesn't yet. It's hard sometimes to find common ground. What a beautiful story! :)

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  7. i really love your posts. i can relate to this although my friends dont have children yet, they are all getting married. i need to remember to be my own person with my own wishes and dreams and love my friends for the decisions they are making- not judge them. youre such a great role model, i love your posts.

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  8. What a sweet post! I can relate because my bestie and my sister both just had their 2nd baby within the last 4 weeks. I was the first married and the only one left without kids, but I have to say being an auntie is the best title in the world!!

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  9. Aww, I love best friends! You guys look like fun. :)

    I'm at the age where ALL of my friends are getting engaged. If I see one more ring picture on Facebook...

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  10. Such a sweet and honest post Jenn - I have to admit I'd love to see you and Vin have a little one but I just as much love seeing you two happy together. Congrats to your friend and their little girl :-)

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  11. Congratulations to your bestie! This is the type of friendship you are lucky to find, even once in your life. What a sweet, endearing post! xo

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  12. This is a really, really precious post.

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  13. we all have a different journey. The key is to enjoy the one you have! I have a friend just like this. Friends are sweet and special. And thanks for your comment on my blog! Made my day:)

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  14. What a gorgeous post! I'm going to send it to my sister. She, too, wonders if/when the motherhood part will happen for her. In the mean time, she is a fun, awesome, generous - and much beloved - aunt to my son.

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  15. Thanks for the touching post! It made my day. I'm a Texan in NYC and my married BFF back in Texas is pregnant with her first baby. It's been exciting to vicariously experience these life changes from a safe distance (I'm not quite there yet)...but still remain close enough in our friendship to share new joy and old memories.

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  16. This one really hit home! For awhile, it looked like my bff was going to be joining me here in domestic suburbia but a few months after Gabe was born, she shocked us and announced she was getting divorced. She moved back downtown and is basically starting over. So while I think it would be awesome to have my best girl doing the same things I am, I'm also happy to hand Gabe over to John and head downtown to her apartment and escape suburbia for awhile. Anyway, in my experience, we just kinda dove in to the whole having kids thing because we couldn't think of an overwhelming good reason not to. But we made sure we had plenty of time by ourselves too. So what I'm saying is I can relate.

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  17. Ah, heart warming! Aren't life long friends the greatest?

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  18. Congratulation to Missy on the new addition to the family!

    I feel the same way as you sometimes. I had my son very young and I am now at the age that all of my friends are just starting their families. They're talking about diapers and formula and I'm talking about high schools and and puberty.

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  19. What a heartwarming post, I can only hope my best friend and I remain as close as you and Missy when were older. Congratulations to both of you!

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  20. Congratulations to Missy! Awww, you have such an awesome friend!

    Bet you have some fantastic stories to tell too!!!

    x.o.x.o

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  21. AWWW, this is such a sweet post!

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  22. I like this post a lot...and I relate on the kids front. I'm (about to be) 29 and my best friend has 2 kids and my sis in law who I'm super close with has my sweet niece.... and I LOVE kids but I know I'm not ready .... so it's like a whole pressure thing... I'm with ya sista!

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  23. I just reread this, and I LOVE it!!! I love you, Jenn!!!

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