A Day in the Life: Election Tuesday

7 am: Wake up, ignore smell of last night's bacon in hair and apply shower cap. Shower. Pat dry. Dress.

8 am: Eat breakfast: Last night's grilled chicken with brussels sprouts and bacon. Maple syrup on sprouts make it feel more breakfast-y.

9 am: Leave house to vote. Polling site -- nearby retirement home. A poll worker notices name on a voter's ballot and asks if he is Korean. Man nods yes; worker attempts to bond by sharing that her niece married a Korean and man, do they have some beautiful babies. Korean man unimpressed. Female voter of Asian descent enters; same poll worker asks if she needs a Korean interpreter. Woman responds that she does not need a Korean interpreter because she speaks English and also, because she is Chinese. Look of utter confusion covers poll worker's face.

9:30: Wait in line at post office for stamps. Reminisce about days when stamps cost 22 cents. Feel 100 years old reminiscing about price of stamps.

9:50: Head to subway. Sit on a bench; journal. Feel annoyed when brunette to my right practically sits in my lap while three adjacent seats remain empty. Keep head down, continue journaling. When train arrives, brunette stranger grabs my hand and leads me onto train.

9:53: Realize I'd been sitting next to my husband for three minutes.

9:54-10:30: Train into city and share a giggle with Vin about culturally inappropriate eavesdropping at poll site.

10:30: Get off at Canal Street for dentist appointment further downtown. Train still not running there post-Sandy. Enjoy a refreshing 20 minute walk.

11:00: Six-month check-up and cleaning with greatest dental hygienist in Manhattan. Scraping sounds overshadowed by comforting tunes of Taylor Dayne on '90s Pandora station. Dentist ruins zen; drops bomb about cavity. Bummer.

12 noon: Back on train, headed uptown. Reading David Sedaris; chuckling inwardly. Young guy tries to sell me his self-published book pamphlet for two bucks. Can tell by cover he's no David Sedaris. Let writer down gently. Continue reading.

12:05: Rebuff an accordian player busking for change.

12:06: Remember how much I hate the accordian.

12:45: Exit train in Jamaica, Queens and head for social security office to begin process of changing my name.

1:00-1:45: Social security office. Number finally called; guy at counter jokes about offering a two-for-one name-change special. One for new married name; another when I change back to maiden name after inevitable divorce. Consider advising him to stop projecting onto happy newlyweds; giggle politely instead.

2:00:  Back on train; first signs of intense lunchtime hunger set in. Regret not having made garlic bread to accompany grilled chicken/ brussels sprout breakfast. Consider eating own fist.

2:05: Trapped on train car with screaming toddler and parents, who continue to text while occasionally glaring at offspring and telling him to shut up. Find myself trying very hard not to judge them. Fail miserably.

3:00: Enter home. Run to stove. Boil pasta, saute broccoli rabe with garlic. Eat like an animal. Fist intact. Crisis averted.

3:30: Briefly consider mopping floor.

3:31: Reconsider. Check Facebook instead. Everybody's out voting. Go team!

4:00: Chat with dad on phone. Love that dude.

5:00: Consider going to the gym.

5:01: Talk myself out of going to the gym. This is turning into a losing battle.

6:00: Prepare dinner. Tostadas topped with butternut squash, a white bean, jalapeno & garlic puree, caramelized onions and goat cheese. Consider giving food blogging another shot;  remember how much I hate taking pictures of my food.

8:00: Vin walks in and removes coat. We discover we're both wearing red plaid shirts. Totally simpatico. Take that, bitter social security dude.

8:15--rest of night: Watch election coverage. Marvel at the remarkably sharp difference in FB statuses between my New York and Texas people.

Midnight: Head to bed. Day finished. Election over. Vow to workout, wash hair, mop floors and eat sensible breakfast tomorrow.