Amish Eating: How I Split My Pants in 3 Short Days

Let's talk about the real reason we go on road trips, shall we? Everybody knows it's the food. The good, the bad, and the total guilty pleasures we'd never consider snacking on at home. I mean, when else am I going to snap into a Slim Jim or freeze my brain cells with a cherry Icee?

There was no shortage of eating on our trip to Amish country, and little of it would impress a dietician or someone concerned with cholesterol levels and clothing size. Please, follow me.

On Friday night, we had dinner at one of the many traditional Amish schmorgasboards, which is basically a fancy European word for "unlimited country buffet". Amish main meals are typically built around hearty meat dishes like pork chops, ham, meatloaf, fried chicken and roast beef and accompanied by potatoes, buttered noodles, rolls and some vegetables. The meal did not rock my world, but it was a fun experience.

And it's tough to complain when you're given a window seat at sunset and this is the view. 

On Saturday morning, we got up early (which is pretty much necessary in Lancaster County--seemed like most activities closed by 5) and headed to the Central Market in the city of Lancaster. It's the oldest farmer's market in the country where local farmers and bakers sell their wares out of an old brick building.

One Amish guy at a deli counter had a hair net over his beard. He ruled.

The Amish may not have Kindles or "Sex and the City" reruns on demand, but hell if they don't have fresh herbs.

And candy. Beautiful, rainbow-colored candy.

I loved these bad-ass Hershey Harley's. 

And these super cute "for-dogs-only" doughnuts.

But it was the fresh flowers that really stole the show. 

Of course, the Amish are really best known for their baked goods. Unfortunately I didn't hear about the legendary Amish Friendship Bread until after our visit, but we did manage to try almost everything else.

Whoopie pies are HUGE in Amish country, and we had our fair share.

Shoo-fly pie is also a major Amish specialty. I didn't try it because anything boasting molasses as a primary flavor is definitely not up my alley. Know what is up my alley? Name-dropping. Prepare yourselves:  I totally know the guy who holds the current shoo-fly pie eating world record. His name is "Eater X" and he is expected to defend his title in Lancaster this summer. He also owns the tiramisu-eating record. Do I know people in high places, or what?

Dutch pretzels are also a major player in the Amish food scene. 

Get your minds out of the gutter and into this pretzel shop for a yummy treat. They even give tours and teach you how to twist your own pretzel.

Eating one requires no instruction. I got that down to a science. 

As you can imagine, the Amish are also really into canning stuff. Pickles, jams, jellies, salsas and some mysterious pickled delicacy called 'chow-chow'.

We went to a neat place called Kitchen Kettle Village where they had every imaginable jarred good known to man, and everything was available to sample.

When all was said and done, we drove home with 3 bottles of jam, a jar of apple butter, 1 bottle of pineapple salsa and a big bag of tortilla chips, a half-dozen chocolate chip cookies, 3 whoopie pies, a bag of kettle corn, a two-pound bag of oats and a container of homemade butterscotch peanut butter. I feel like ralphing.

Jenn and Vin's Amish Country Adventure

One of my very favorite things about living in New York City is how close it is to so many other fantastic places, most of which offer a completely different feel than the city. Weekend getaways abound whether you want to go antiquing upstate, sailing in Connecticut, or fist-pumping on the Jersey shore. East coast, represent!

Since moving to the Northeast nearly 12 years ago, there has been one road trip I've always wanted to take. And as technology has advanced beyond recognition over the past dozen years (can we refer to years by the dozen, or does the measurement only apply to eggs and mini-muffins?), I have grown more and more intrigued by one quiet, peaceful, mysterious place: Pennsylvania Dutch Country.

Vin and I drove there for three relaxing, eye-opening, wi-fi-free days last weekend, and I have to tell you, it was the most centered and calm I've felt in months. How ironic that I went to Amish country to recharge my batteries.

I learned quite a bit about the Amish way of life during our stay in Adamstown, Pennsylvania. First, visitors should know that it is considered quite disrespectful to take photos of an Amish person head-on. Therefore there will not be any pictures of Amish people in this post. And please don't worry: these young women all signed model releases. 

We decided to take a buggy tour through the farm land and back roads to get a clearer picture of how the Amish live. The tour guide was the most precious 19-year-old boy named Caleb, whose father grew up on an Amish farm but decided not to be baptized into the church as an adult. It was really a pleasure to have a tour guide who knew so much about the area and the Amish lifestyle. Everyone on the tour was equally curious about the culture and we kept the questions coming.

The subway is my typical mode of transportation, so being driven by a horse was quite a different experience. Smelled about the same though.

Pennsylvania Dutch country is well known for its many covered bridges. After our tour was over, Vin and I went driving around the back roads, with the mission to find as many of the bridges as possible.

We are total bridge and tunnel people. People in the Tri-state area know what we're talking about.

Anyway, back to the tour. These are typical Amish farms, complete with homes, stables and farmland. Old order Amish do not allow tractors on their farms, and still do everything with traditional horsepower.

{"Yes, I'll take a quarter pounder with special sauce on a sesame-seed bun. Of course I want it super-sized, need you ask?"}

One of my favorite parts of the buggy tour was stopping at a roadside stand to purchase fresh baked goods and jellies from an Amish man and his young son. One common misperception of the Amish is that they want complete separation from the people who live in "English" society (aka: anyone who is not Amish or Mennonite). I found the Amish to be warm people who were happy to have respectful visitors glimpse into their culture. As long as you don't gawk at them like monkeys in a zoo, they're more than happy to pass a shoo-fly pie to a city girl with a big digital camera and a long-haired boyfriend.

PS: Their chocolate chip cookies RULED. I'm now surfing the interwebs for Amish cookie recipes, although I'm pretty certain they're not uploading anything to allrecipes.com. Worth a shot though.

I took about 600 photos during this short little trip--far too many to incorporate into one post. I'll be posting about our trip to Pennsylvania for the rest of the week, because I'm "English" and therefore totally addicted to the Internet. Guilty as charged. But that certainly doesn't mean I don't have a deep respect (and maybe even a secret yearning) to live a lifestyle resembling the Amish way. These "Plain People" have their values and morals in check, and their sense of community and freedom from material influence was truly inspiring.

If you're as interested in learning more about the Amish lifestyle and community as I have been, you should check out this website, where many frequently asked questions are answered. Till then, stay tuned for more posts from Pennsylvania all week!