{stories and snapshots from my new york city life.}

Showing posts with label alanis morrisette. Show all posts
Showing posts with label alanis morrisette. Show all posts

8.25.2011

My Top 20 Guilty Pleasures

When we define something as a guilty pleasure, it's typically because indulging in it will adversely affect our bodies, our bank statements or our brains. Growing up, my mother cautioned that watching "You Can't Do That on Television" would shrink my brain cells. I'm not sure what study she was going off of, but I also didn't care. Watching Alanis Morrissette get slimed was right up my alley, and I wasn't going to stop. It was one of my first guilty pleasures. That and stealing Doritos out of the pantry when Mom wasn't looking.

Sure, guilty pleasures add gerth to your hips and rob you of time spent doing productive activities like attending jazzercise class or volunteering at a retirement home, but they also ignite bliss and nourish your senses, your spirit, your soul. See? Not all bad. So I say do 'em, whenever you want to do 'em, cause life's too short to feel guilty about doing things that make you feel alive.

Here's my list of indulgences:

20) Fried chicken. I eat it about once a year, and every time I do, I feel like I've been invited to a church picnic at the gates of heaven.

19) A big bag of crunchy, salty chips. Bonus points for ridges and a garlicky and/or cheesy powder you have to lick off your fingers afterward.

18) Shows about major life problems like Intervention, Obsessed, and My Strange Addiction. Partly because of my job, and partly because I just can't look away...

17) Dipping Fritos into banana. I did this as a kid, and I'm tellin' ya, if you love a good salty/sweet combo, this one's a winner.

16) Bailey's Irish Cream. I'm not a drinker, but put a big, black bottle of that creamy Irish nectar in my path and I'll be drunk and fat in 10 minutes, tops.

15) Katy Perry. I love her. Don't argue with me; Teenage Dream is fantastic.

14) Chocolate ice cream with Butterfinger candy bar smashed in. The candy gets lodged deep in my molars, but it's so worth it. In fact, maybe that's what I like so much about it. The taste lingers for hours.

13) Speaking of chocolate...I can't forget about Willie Wonka and the Chocolate Factory. The trippy Gene Wilder version, not the crap remake with Johnny Depp and his terrible haircut. I don't care how many times I've seen it, it's never enough.

12) Pumpkin Spice Lattes from Starbuck's. Almost, my pretties...almost!


11) Grease II. Totally not as popular as the original, but in my book, far superior. Reproduction? Cool Rider? COME ON! That is solid gold cinema right there. And Stephanie Zinone is like 20 times more bad-ass than boring old Sandra Dee. A couple years ago, a few like-minded girlfriends gathered at my apartment for a Pink Lady viewing party. Me thinks that needs a sequel.

10) Oh yeah. I freakin' love Glee too. Especially Brittany. And Sex and the City reruns even though I've seen every episode more than twice.

9) My $150 Chi Nano hairdryer. Thankfully I got it for free back when I was a beauty editor, but I totally would have forked over the cash for this brilliance. Eff off frizz.

8) Chips. Cheese. Beans. Guacamole. Jalapenos. I will put the hurt on a plate of nachos like you ain't never seen.

7) The Real World. I can't believe I'm as old as I am and still watching that show, but I do. I have (sadly) watched every season since it began 3,000 years ago in New York. What's worse is I dragged my poor unassuming boyfriend into it.

6) Flea market finds. If you are cheap, and funky, and unique and I can fit you in my lap on the subway, you will certainly be mine.

5) Checking stupid Facebook every five minutes. I know I'm not alone here.

4) Cheese. Any kind. Anywhere. All the time. But if you are Manchego, goat or a really good sharp cheddar you are definitely top tier.

3) Occasionally swiping on red lipstick before cleaning the house. Makes chores so much more glamorous. One time I paired a ballgown bridesmaid dress with elbow-length dishwashing gloves and went to town! Don't worry; it was after the wedding.

2) Popcorn--a snack so versatile in its incarnations I can't help but sing its praises. Love it with truffle oil and pecorino, honey and cinnamon, melty chocolate and slivered almonds, butter and kosher salt. Kernel after kernel, popcorn will always be my favorite snack evah.

1) Couch, TV, blanket, boyfriend. Cause sometimes my favorite thing to do is nothing at all.

All right; I showed you mine. It's only fair that you show me yours. What are your guilty pleasures? And don't you dare tell me "freshly picked berries" or "flax seed oil" or I'm never talking to you again.