Cake Disasters

Yesterday was my boyfriend's birthday, so I baked him a cake. I really went all out too; I bypassed the generic store brand and popped for the premium Duncan Hines Golden Vanilla. I poured the batter in two 9-inch rounds like the box told me to, baked them, and let them cool. I stacked, I frosted, I decorated...and ten minutes later, it looked like Mr. Miyagi used it for a teaching tool.

                                                                  July 12, 2010

The same thing happened last year! That time I ran to the store after "the crack heard round the kitchen" and quickly filled it with some canned cherry gloop to make it appear as though the effect was intentional. Please note exhibit 'B'.

                                  July 12, 2009                          

Has this ever happened to any of you? What am I doing wrong? Is there something I should be doing differently, or is it time to just embrace my ability to construct the ugliest cakes in the world?